Here is a question for all you parents out there. Is telling your child “No” wrong if you have no other reason to say it other than just wanting to say it? Here is a better way to look at it. Your child asks you if they can watch a movie and you say “No” only because you just feel like not letting them.
Is that good parenting? Do you need more of a reason to say No other than the fact you simply just feel like saying No?
It seems silly to ask, but then again I am silly dad right? In all seriousness, think about it a minute. How can this backfire? Does it matter how old your child is or should you always have a good reason for your decisions?
I have my theories but I would like to hear yours.
-sillydad
Hmmmm as far as being the “authority figure” is concerned, you have every right to simply say no to your child.
However, in my experience, I’ve found that offering even the simplest explanation to your child will do 3 things:
1. Perhaps make them more accepting of your desicion
2. Make the NEXT TIME you say no easier for them to swallow (since you already explained yourself)
3. Give them an insight into what goes on in YOUR mind. Your rationale, your reasoning. This gives them something to model later in life.
Shannon
I believe you should always have a reason, but not have to explain yourself at that moment. There are times when the old saying do as you are told should be followed, (like when your child is heading for danger). Then there are times when an explanation would help them to better understand your reasoning, and they might be more likely to respect your wishes.
I think I agree with you. Having a reason for your decisions helps the child learn reasoning. By simply saying no for the sake of saying no I think is fine on a limited basis, but the child should know why the decision stands the way it does.
I think of it like a teacher giving you a 75 for a graded paper but not telling you why. The teacher just says it is only a C paper but with no reasons. How can you learn from your mistakes in the future?
Thanks for the input guys…
I try to always give a reason, or remind my kids that “you know why…” Like if they ask to watch a movie on a school night, I ask them to tell me what day of the week it is, then they can figure it out from there why I said no. Or, “Can I have a piece of candy?” I ask them what time it is, if it’s close to being dinnertime.
I want their little brains to figure this stuff out so next time maybe they’ll think before they ask.