The Top 8 Things You DO Want to Say to a SAHD

Recently I wrote an article on the top 10 things not to say to a Stay at Home Dad. Though people agreed and even added their own comments of what not to say to a Stay at Home Dad, I decided we need to have a plan. So now we know what not to say to an SAHD, let’s provide a list of what SAHD DO want to hear.

So here are 8 things you DO want to say to a SAHD:

1) Wow, that is a very honourable thing to do. Obviously you are thinking of your family first and not about yourself
There are a lot of people who treasure a man’s “title” over doing what is honorable for the family. When people recognize that you have sacrificed what some people wouldn’t in order to stay in line with the proper stereotypes it helps make your life and decisions more at peace. When people say you are not selfish and that you put your family first, it also reinforces to you how important your job is at home.

2) You must be a wonderful father to your children
Just because you stay home doesn’t mean you are a wonderful father, but I think when it becomes a choice for a man to stop going out into the world to work to stay at home it tells you something about your character as a person. Though this statement may not be entirely true, it definitely increases your chances of being a wonderful father because of your overall choices.

3) Your wife must be happy to have a husband who puts the family first
Sometimes it hits home when other people mention how happy your wife must be. Not only are you a wonderful dad, but now you are also a wonderful husband. We all know how some fathers will do whatever they can for their children but are still disrespectful towards their wife. Comments like this still could be false but their assumption definitely makes a Stay at Home Dad feel worthwhile.

4) Being a full-time at home parent is a lot of work
There is nothing worse than a person thinking you stay home and do nothing all day while you let your wife go out into the world and slave to bring home the bacon. It is mostly difficult for the older people, especially those who lived through the Great Depression. Men slaved and begged for work and it was hard times. To even think of allowing your wife to go out into the work place while you stayed home, especially during some of the tougher eras here in America would be completely ludicrous. Fortunately, today we live in a society where the economy is booming and the overall situation makes the workplace more enjoyable. We can pick and choose jobs to some degree. So staying home and letting the wife out to work is not what some people make it out to be. The reason most fathers stay home with their children is because the wife makes a lot more money, and in most cases it doesn’t mean the husband couldn’t find a job at all. So, anyway it is nice to see others who understand that staying home with children is working. You don’t get paid with money but you are investing time and energy and love into your family that cannot be measured by dollar bills.

5) I wish I could get my husband to do that
I have actually heard this comment before and not just on one occasion. There are men out there who will not stay home with their children even if it meant more money. Usually it is a pride thing. Stay at Home Dads like this comment because it reinforces that what they are doing is not just valuable for your family but also valuable enough that some husbands still are not kosher with the idea.

6) That is so wonderful, you will be able to watch your children take their first steps
Again, not too long ago men were the ones out working long hours and making money. They would come home late at night to hear how their little one had taken their first step or said their first word. Daddy wasn’t around much to witness these first steps. But, Stay at Home Dads today will be more likely to catch all those great and happy moment and if they are fortunate can catch it all on film for their working wife. So when people mention this, it certainly helps our outlook on our decision and puts aside all the spit-ups and diaper changes, and really hits home the more important developments in a child’s upbringing.

7) That is great, you can raise your kids how you want to
When I hear this comment I think it refers to in opposition to daycare. Some parents drop children off at school and/or daycare for the day while both go to work. Sometimes families need both incomes to make things work. In our family we found that most of the 2nd person’s income would get dumped into daycare anyway. So, staying home with your children instead of leasing them out helps to get to know your children and raise them the way you feel is the best way according to your family’s goals and values. Again, this is an investment and when people appreciate your decision to raise your own kids it helps reinforce to you that your decision is the right one.

8) I know a guy who stays home with his children too and it had worked out great for them.
To hear another person made the same decision and not only did it work out, but it worked out great, is like hearing bells on your wedding day. A one sentence success story for a family who is living similarly to your own. What a time to be happy for your decision. And it also shows you are not alone in this world. There are other dads out there scattered across America who are staying home with their children. In fact, statistics show a steady increase. So if you are ever talking to a Stay at Home Dad and know of another Stay at Home Dad, then let them know.

Please feel free to add any of your own…


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5 Responses to The Top 8 Things You DO Want to Say to a SAHD

  1. Shannon says:

    Of all of those, the only one I’v eactually heard was :

    “You must be a wonderful father to your kids”

    We work hard – we can use all the praise we can get.


  2. chip says:

    Wow, I think it’s great and amazing that you’ve heard so many positive comments. When I was a SAHD I didn’t get much positive stuff from casual acquaintances or strangers, more like “won’t your daughter be confused” and strange looks. But it’s absolutely worth it. I’m glad that more people are being more supportive of dads who commit themselves to their kids.

  3. sillydad says:

    I have heard a lot of praises. But I also have run into a lot of insults. In the past I mainly focused on the insults and just recently have decided to bring forth the compliments to help weigh it out properly.

    I have been more fortunate than most SAHDs because I get a lot more support than normal.

  4. Quintank says:

    Unfortunatley, I almost never get compliments for the job I’ve done for 6 years, except from other men I come in contact with. (Mostly delivery guys, who I accost for adult conversation. ;-) My parents, grandparents and in-laws are still stuck in the ’50s, even though they are fully aware of all the circumstances surrounding my (our) decision. Sigh…

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