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Just in case you are just tuning in I have been answering a 13 question questionaire over at dadstayshome.com… Here is number 10.

Question #10
Did your background as a child influence your decision to become a stay-at-home dad?

According to psychologists every decision you make in life is influenced by how you were raised. So, I would have to say “yes” to this question. Do I think it has had the most influence on my decision? Maybe not. This is a difficult question to answer. It’s difficult to really pinpoint any specific childhood incidences or memories that may have directly impacted me to make the decision to become a Stay at Home Dad. But if we want to generalize this a bit I would have to say that no matter who we are today, whether it be a doctor, professional baseball player, lawyer, Walmart employee, or a stay at home dad, our childhood has had somewhat of an influential factor in our decision to become who we are.

Here are some things that I think would influence our decisions:

Religious Background
I think this could be a biggy here. How we were raised and taught religiously will impact every decision we make. There are many different religions out there and you could have been raised in any number of those. In fact, you could agree with your relgious background or you could have even rebelled against it. But either way your religious beliefs, no matter what they are, will impact every decision you make. There are some people who believe their religion teaches them that the man has to be the primary breadwinner and the wife must be in complete submission to the husband. Others don’t. Whether you were brought up in a household who preached on this could very well make a huge impact on your decision.

Political Background
Are you a democrat or a republican? Are you somewhere in between or out in left field? If you are way into politics you may find one situation over the other is best according to your political agenda.

Family Dynamics
Were you brought up with a mother who stayed home, a father who worked long hours, and 5 other siblings? Or maybe you never knew your dad and you were the only child? You and your mom make up your family? Or maybe even something more untraditional like lesbian or gay parents. Or you could even be brought up in a family with several step parents and siblings. Maybe your grandmother raised you. Or were you adopted? Whatever your family dynamics were growing up will have a huge impact on your decisions in life.

Family Heritage
Here is another big one. Are your grandparents Italian, Mexican, English, Spanish, German, or Indian?? Maybe your great grandparents came to America on a big boat one day and brought with them family tradition and heritage from their country. What was passed down to you from your family’s upbringing will affect your own upbringing.

Demographics
Where do you live? Do you live in the mountains and ski 6 out of 7 days a week or do you live in the desert? If you grew up in the Northern states where there is a lot of snow your hobbies would be a lot different than if you grew up in the sunny south. Where you live impacts your decisions and your behaviour and, in turn, influences our decisions down the road.

Education
This speaks for itself. People who are well educated make different decisions than those who are not. The way you think is shaped by the things you have read, studied, written, and even how well you scored on tests. You might be a business student, a law student, a physcial education student, and so on. No matter what you decide to do in school will impact your decisions later. Professors can really shape how you think by their style of teaching as well.

Personality
Personality is a strong trait in each of us that plays a big part in our behaviour and decision making process. Though we are tossed into certain influential backgrounds our personaility tells us what to do with those influences. For instance, did you go to that church with your parents or did you rebel? Or maybe you went to church with them but were never really into it. Your personality juggles these influences and tells you how to behave.

Friends
And of course most of us all have had friends growing up. Your personality and all the other influential factors may determine who your friends are but your friends can really impact you. There is nothing like peer pressure. Were you pressured into doing drugs? Or maybe they helped you stay away from them. It is amazing how our behaviour can be shaped by the strong influence of our friends.

So let’s sum it up for me. All of these things in my life have played a huge role in my decision to stay home. The end!

-sillydad

Yesterday it was my wife’s birthday. I had a dozen roses shipped off to where she works. And yes it went over quite well, especially where she works with all women. So the oohhing and aahhing was at its maximum.

Other than some small gifts I cooked up an incredible dinner. Never made it before but it went over real well. What you do is marinate boneless skinless chicken breasts in 1/2 cup of Dijon Mustard, 1/2 cup of Honey, and like 4 teaspoons of Vegetable Oil. Let that marinate for at least 2 hours. Personally I let it sit in the stuff all day long. Make sure to have some extra marinade sitting off to the side in the refrigerator for later.

While it is marinating you will need to half cook some bacon strips. Plan to have 2 pieces per chicken breast. When it is finally time to start cooking, take the chicken out of the marinade and place onto a skillet and lightly brown it. Then place the chicken in a glass pan and squirt lemon juice all over it. In the same skillet sautee up some freshly cut mushrooms.

When the mushrooms are completely done spoon on the marinade you set aside to chill. Then take 2 half cooked pieces of bacon and criss-cross them over each chicken breast. Place sauteed mushrooms on top of the bacon. Then shred Monterey Jack and Cheddar Cheese all over the chicken. Put it in the oven at 375 degrees and cook for like 20-25 minutes or until done.

Enjoy!

Boy, was it deeeeelicious!

-sillydad

Getting closer to the end of the questionaire. Take a look at #9

Question #9
Have you ever felt discriminated against by male friends who aren’t stay-at-home dads?

Now this is a fair question and I can say right now “yes I have”. But I have been discriminated against in both directions. In other words some guys think I am not forceful enough or something because I stay home, like maybe my wife forced me into the situation. On the other end, I have had guys actually wish they had my job. But let’s take a look at some things that have happened to me where male friends have discriminated against me in one way or another. Here are a few:

We know who wears the paints in the relationship… (followed by a nice grin)
Oh yea, I have heard this on more than one occasion, and in fact, I have heard this about 4 times from the same person. They must not have thought they got their point across the first time. So, because I stay home I no longer wear pants. I must not have a backbone either.

What man would stay home and change diapers?
Yes, I have heard this believe it or not, but at least it was only once. I am sure people think it more often or say it behind my back but I cannot prove any of it except for that one time. Was I offended? Yea, I was a tad bit but I got over it….

Are you crazy?
Yes.

Why?
This one is almost as bad as “Are you crazy?” Just coming out and asking why? That sometimes seems more powerful than being specific. Why? Ummm… well maybe because it is the best thing for my family right now, or should I try to smooth things over with a friend and say, “Well, I want to make sure I catch all the games on TV.” In all honesty I have only had one male friend ask me why.

Oh really? (long pause) hmmm
This happened to me on a phone conversation about a year ago. “Oh really” was mostly to absorb the shock and the long pause was to think about what to say next. Eventually hmmmm came out of him and that summed it all up for me.

Those are things I have heard from male friends the minute they found out I was now a full time stay at home dad. But what do they say now? How about this one: “Hey Steve, Go ask your wife if you guys can __________” fill in the blank… A lot of the discrimination stems not from me just staying home with the kids but the fact that my wife makes most of the money and supports us. That immediately draws out stereotypes and people automatically assume I have to ask my wife for permission like I am some little school boy or something.

But there are other forms of discrimination other than making certain remarks. How do they act around me? Right now most of my friends don’t live in the same town as I do so I don’t get to witness much. But that just means I spend more time talking on the phone with them so it is easier for me to relate conversations to discrimination in this instance than it is to witness actions.

Maybe I don’t get asked to go places or do things with them as much but I would associate that with just NOT being single any more. It is more of the fact that I am married and have 4 children than it is because I stay home with the little ones.

On a good note, I actually get more positive responses than disapproving ones. Maybe I am lucky or maybe there is something about me. Who really knows. But until more and more dads become Stay at Home Fathers we will continue to see discrimination.

-sillydad

Well we are more than half-way through our questionaire. Let’s move on to number eight.

Question #8
Primary childcare has been known to be the “woman’s job,” how do you feel about taking on the responsibilities as a man?

How many ways can you skin a cat? Yes, primary childcare has been known to be the woman’s job since the beginning of mankind. How do I feel about it taking over those roles as a man? hmm… Well, I believe over time man can hopefully overcome slavery, oppression, racism, and descrimination, and eventually evolve into a better way of life. That may seem a bit harsh, but overcoming gender stereotypes is on the rise. I do believe men should act like men and women like women no matter what they choose to do. I think the problem is how people can be misled by switching spousal roles such as the man staying home and the woman working. Some think the woman is not womanly enough and the man is not being a man.

I think whatever roles we choose to do for the best interest of the family unit, the man can still be a man. It isn’t what he chooses to do but how he goes about it. Right? In other words, the man has his own parenting techniques and styles. I notice in myself those differences and it makes a huge impact on my children’s upbringing. It is an important role and I think the man as head of the household should be able to decide what is best for his family.

I think both men and women should have equal opportunity in life. Women are now out in the workplace and I think that is great. On the other side of the spectrum, I also think men should be able to stay home with their children. What’s the difference? Is it women can take on the roles of men but not vice versa?

So how do I feel about taking on a woman’s job? I don’t think it is solely a woman’s job anymore. Imagine me going up to a women who is in the middle of her day job and asking her how she felt about taking on the responsibilities of a man. After I got smacked across the face I would soon realize it is simply no longer just a man’s job. Both men and women are in the workplace even though since the beginning of time until a few decades ago it was unheard of for women to be the primary breadwinner.

For a man to stay home is not that unique anymore, but the stereotypes are still quite old. We need to break the mold and show others the realities of it. But, I think it goes deeper than just gender roles. What do I mean? I think that certain families want the best for their children and will do anything to make them happy and keep them thriving. A man who is passionate and cares for his family will not hesitate to do what is best. And if staying home while the wife rakes in the dough is what is best for the family then why should I lose out on that opportunity…. and for what? So I can feel like a man from the stone ages??

sillydad

Moving right along with our questionaire. This one is a good question because it involves society and their outlook on men who decide to stay home. Take a look…

Question #7
Society generally views the male of the household being the primary “breadwinner,” do you feel that you should obtain some sort of income for the household? Why or why not?

Round and round we go. How many ways can we answer the same question? Yes, society generally views the man of the house to be the one bringing home the bacon while mommy stays home and takes care of the little ones. Society actually is falling more and more into the “both parents are raking in the dough as they ship their child off to daycare” syndrome. I call it a syndrome but it works for some people. Again, I am not against certain daycare facilities as much as I am against simply having somebody else raise your child so you can go to work. Maybe that sounds shallow but having children is a responsibility and not a luxury.

I feel that one person in the marriage needs to stay home with the children while the other one works. Traditionally it is the man who works. But why does it have to be the man all the time? Wouldn’t it be situational? Here are some factors that I think should determine which person should stay home and which person should go out into the workplace.

1) Income: Well here is the biggy. Who makes more money? If one is making $50,000 per year and the other is making $25,000 per year wouldn’t it be wise in most cases to leave the person making more out in the workplace? I would think so, but sometimes it isn’t that easy. There are other factors that can play in to your decision. In most families it could be that simple. But, what if one is making $30,000 and the other is making $30,000 as well? Now there are other factors that need to be looked at.

2) Employment Benefits: When you have a family employment benefits are important. Children need shots, they need regular check-ups at the doctors, they need routine dentist visits, and don’t forget emergencies that may pop-up at any time. You need to look into the companies that each of the parents are working for and see what benefits they offer. If the man shingles rooftops and makes $35,000 for the year but his boss doesn’t provide family benefits, and the woman makes $27,500 per year but her company has a great family benefits package you need to sit down and weigh out the options. The man after finding an outside source for insurance may actually find he isn’t making that much more than his wife did. So make sure your kids are set-up with insurance. Insurance is not just important for the kids but for the parents as well. Make sure you have that security.

3) Company Security: Insurance and benefits are one part of company security. But there are other factors you need to look into. Is the company you are working for about ready to file chapter 11 or are they booming and growing. If you are making $10,000 more a year than your spouse but your company may be downsizing in the next 2 to 5 years then you need to weigh in the consequences if you were laid off or demoted. But let’s look at the opposite side. Maybe the company is booming and more employment is needed. You know the company will be a great place to stay in and possibly retire. Some companies are great for careers, others are good for short-term work. So do some digging and find out about the company you and your spouse work for. In some situations you may want to choose the job with less income but the security and benefits packages are superb.

4) Promotion: This is also something to look into regarding a company. Is there room for promotion? Is there supervisory and managerial positions available? Could you be in a better position if you stayed with the company for a few more years. If both spouses are making the same amount of income per year and the benefits are roughly the same but one has the ability to make more money in a year or more and the other is sort of stuck at that one position, then that is another determining factor. But also look at your own credentials. Are you a good candidate for moving up the corporate ladder? Do you have education under your belt? Experience? Do you have competition where other employees hold the same credentials as you? So how realistic are your chances of moving up? Be honest with yourself because this isn’t about you any more, it is about your family.

5) Random: There are also random elements you need to look into. Some are quantifiable and others will be things you need to use your judgment. Quantifiable elements would be cost of gas. Does your spouse have a job down the street and you have a job that is 45 miles down the road? With rising gas prices this is definitely a factor. Is it costing you $25 in gas for the day to drive to and from work? Multiply that by 5 days for the week and you are paying $125 for the week. How much is that for the year? You will be paying $6,500 for just gas alone.

There are some judgment calls that you can’t figure out on a calculator. Maybe you can’t decide when it comes to calculations. Both jobs seem secure, both pay roughly the same, both jobs are located nearby, both parents have education and experience under their belt, and there is hope for promotion in the near future. How do you decide? Some judgment calls would include things like “Who is up for the task?” Is one more willing to give up a career for their family? Will one hold resentments against their spouse 2 years, 5 years, or 10 years down the road? Is one better with the kids? These are all judgment calls that need to be looked at. Maybe there is more of an opportunity to work from home with one spouse than the other and so you plan to help get that one parent going working at home, whatever that may be.

So let’s go back to the original question. Do I feel I need to obtain income as a male in our society? Well, in my situation absolutely not. In fact, I think it would be unwise and completely self-centered to force my wife who is making 4 times the amount of money I would have made to stay home just so I could feel masculine. This isn’t about me. It is about my family and what is best for them. Why should I go to work to save my ego but struggle to pay the bills and not give my children financial security and the insurance they deserve?

I think society can accept this in time.

-sillydad

Well, here you have it. Do you want to subscribe to SillyDad.com? What this means is you can receive daily emails if there are any new posts here at the site. To do this we go through a site called feedburner. I am quite familiar with them and their services and fear not. They aren’t going to sell or give out your email addresses. Plus you can unsubscribe at anytime. Just fill out the form and then you will be sent an email to confirm.

Ok, so now that we took a quick little break from our questionaire, we can continue on with question six.

Question #6
Why or why not is it important that you obtain some sort of employment either outside or within the home?

Good question. In my current situation I don’t think it is necessarily important for me to obtain employment either in or out of the home. At this point in time we are fine without my financial contributions. Though I do work from my home, I can do so with ease and without the fear of failure. I am working in a risk-free environment. The only thing I am truly giving up is my time and that time could be spent doing other things.

But I look to the future and I also look at security issues. Yes, we are fine now… but… what if something happens in the near or distant future and we need a Plan B? These are some of the things I take into consideration and that is why I have decided to begin working from home.

When my children are in school I plan to go back to work, and if things pan out the way I want them to I will be working for myself, making the same amount, if not more, than if I were working for somebody else. I think when people are in a stay at home situation whether it be the mom or the dad, planning ahead is important. Things may be going smoothly now but what about 2 years… 5 years… or even 15 years down the road?

So I could actually swing either way on this question. Right now, I don’t feel it is important to seek employment as a Stay at Home Dad. But, I do think it is important for a back up plan and also to prepare myself for a financially secure future.

-sillydad

OK this is not part of our questionaire we are currently covering but this is one of the biggest topics that gets kicked around within the Stay at Home Dad circle. I think the reason why this topic is raised to the surface is probably due to 2 things.

1) Guys just talk about cars more than women. It is just a known fact.

2) Stay at Home Dads are probably not driving what they really want to.

So this brings us to what I drive. I remember a discussion I had with a college roommate one time. I told him I would never in my life be caught dead driving a Minivan. This is what I drive now… currently sitting in my driveway:

-sillydad

Photo by Washington Post

Yea, so who does pressure us the most? Let’s side step from the normal questionaire we have been answering and focus on an article I just read. (Hat Tip to Rebel Dad for directing me to the article.)

In today’s society both men and women get pressured into living up to certain gender standards. But who is it that really insists we meet those standards? According to an article in the Washington Post, Men are the ones who put all the pressure on themselves to live up to these expectations.

“They make little comments that sound friendly enough, but that contain a subtle dig. They just love to make a guy feel guilty for failing to spend enough time with his tools, his sporting goods and all the other things that fall under the rubric of “gear.”"

But what I find interesting is even working dads are experiencing this more and more. They are spending so much time at the office and less time on the golf course with their buddies. In fact, they are spending less time with their family and children. I think the picture sums up the situation quite accurately.

Go read the full article

-sillydad

Moving right along with our questionaire. Are we having fun? Here is number 5.

Question #5
Are you currently contributing financially to the household?

Well I already answered most of this in the previous question but let me expand a little bit on the word “contribution”. Yes, I do contribute to the household financially in more than one way. I earn a smaller income than my wife from my online business but I also contribute by simply staying home. Most Stay at Home Fathers contribute financially and don’t even know it.

What am I getting at? You betcha! Keeping your child out of daycare saves money. Take a look at this situation. Currently I have 4 children. At one point they were all under 5 years old and all were staying home with me. Today most daycare facilities will charge anywhere between $100 and $150 per child for the week. If I decided to work and send all 4 of my children to daycare it would have cost us anywhere between $400 and $600 per week. Let’s meet half-way and just say $500 for 4 kids per week.

So now do the math. That is $2,000 per month. How many months are there in a year?? 12. It would cost me and my wife $24,000 in just childcare costs alone. I wasn’t even making that much in one year. So quitting my job actually saved my wife and I money.

Most Stay at Home Fathers need to sit down and do the math. How many kids do you have? Assume each kid will cost you on average $125 per week. Check your area for exact prices. Some places in the country are even twice that high. But a conservative number would be just over $100. If you have 2 children at home you are saving at least $13,000 for the year. Is it worth it?

Anyway, back to the original question. Do I currently contribute financially to the household? Absolutely, and in more than one way.

-sillydad

Let’s move on to the fourth question of our questionaire.

Question #4
Do you currently work from home or run a business within the home?

Yes, currently I have been running an online business with my father at mainehuntingtoday.com. We run a hunting, fishing and outdoor online magazine and community featuring articles, stories, tips, news, wild game recipes, quizzes to test your knowledge, product reviews, and a ton more. One of the most exciting things that we agreed to recently was to expand into 30 other states including Canada. Maine has been quite successful but we have found a large following for those out of staters, and so in order to keep up with the demands of our hunters and outdoor enthusiasts… and also to make them happy… we have included their state. This is done under one large umbrella found at ushuntingtoday.com.

We run forums for each state, and have several blogs running to keep up to the minute information. Currently those blogs are:

Also, we have recently sponsored a hunting show that broadcasts in all 50 states to 18 million viewers. We will be appearing on all 262 shows that air each year.

Why?
Even though I am running a business from my home I make it clear to spend as much time with my children as I can. It is difficult to maintain both all the time, so if I had to neglect one over the other it would have to be my business. The reason I run a business is for a couple of reasons. First off, I really love what I do. It was a hobby that turned into an enjoyable business. My wife makes more than enough money so the pressure for success is not really there. If for some reason my business fails I have lost nothing.

Another reason why I do it is for my future. There will come a day when my children will be in school all day or have grown up and moved away. When that time comes I want to make sure I am doing something I love. So I am in this for the long haul. I plan to go back to work full time whether we need the financial security or not and so I am always thinking about that time. And wouldn’t it be nice to be working for yourself and not for somebody else? Of course it would. I will be able to work my own hours. I really look forward to it!!

-sillydad

Let’s continue on with question 3 of our questionaire.

Question #3:
Has having only one source of income become a factor within the household?

I think no matter what decisions you make in a marital relationship indefinitely becomes a factor within the household, whether it be staying home, working normal hours, or working overtime. So I could easily just say yes it has, but I am sure the question should have been worded “How has having only one source of income effected you and the household?”

I am not going to throw out figures but my wife makes more than enough money to support our family. As I mentioned previously on question number one, if I was working most of my income would be thrown towards childcare, especially now with having 4 children. So no matter what decision we as a family had made my income would not benefit us above and beyond childcare.

Having one source of income is quite an interesting ordeal though. There are certain emotional factors that do play a role when there is one source of income. In order to overcome such emotional triggers you need to re-evaluate the meaning of contribution to a family. A lot of people believe the “bread-winner” is the biggest and most important contributor to a family unit. But there are other contributing factors most people overlook, especially now that society is continually waning from family oriented marriages. Some of these contributing factors are maintenance, time, and development.

Maintenance. As a significant other we all aim to live up to the name… “significant”. In a marriage one needs to complement the other in not only emotional ways but in tactical ways, including duties. If both of you wanted to always do laundry and neither cared for dishes then there would be a conflict. So where am I going with this? Maintaining order within the house is crucial in both senses. Maintenance, or “complementing” what needs to be done whether or not you naturally enjoy the tasks is a strong contributing factor in a marriage and thriving household.

Time. Easy enough… one person cannot have the desired amount of time alloted to them to maintain a family if they are working ten hour shifts, six days a week. The other contributing factor within a family unit would be to make up for lost time of the working spouse. Some things would include: housework, shopping, book keeping, listening to your children, cooking, etc… So contributing your time is crucial in a family, and you know what they say, “Time is Money”…

Development. This is the hardest and most important contributing factor to a family unit. Yes you could contribute your time to your children and spouse, and maintain all those chores at home but without development you will plateau. In order to get the best of your family you need to continually work at making it better, and allow relationships to blossom and grow. As a contributor to a family spending “valuable time” with your children is important. The term valuable is where this stage comes in. You can spend all the time with your children at the park but have your cell phone stuck in your ear the entire time. This contributing factor allows you to put that cell phone away and become involved in the growth of your family. This stage prevents your marriage and family life from becoming stagnant. When a “bread-winner” contributes financially, they sometimes cannot be sufficient in all of the other contributing factors a family needs in order to thrive.

So to jump back to the question, how has one source of income effected the household? I would have to say it has helped our family in that I am there to contribute all the other necessary components in order to “complement” my significant other. If I were working we would be putting all of our eggs in one basket. We would be gaining in only one contributing factor but neglecting the others.

Please feel free to voice your thoughts on this. Maybe you have experienced the same things??

-sillydad

Today let’s continue on with the second question….

Question #2
Do you sometimes regret becoming a stay-at-home father? Why or why not?

Do I sometimes regret becoming a SAHD? hmmmm… Well I guess that is a reasonable question but I would have to say “no”. But, there are days when I feel tired, not up to the task, or even overwhelmed. Compare that to a normal job and you get the same results. I felt that way when I was out working.

So why don’t I regret it? Those are pretty serious words. Regreting something would mean if I had to do it all over again I wouldn’t make the same choice, and so I have to ask myself that. Yes, I would make the same choice. I may change a few things I did at the beginning but hindsite is always 20/20 isn’t it?

I love staying home with my children, but some days I do get tired and I do become frustrated and overwhelmed just like everybody else in the world. That part is just a fact of life whether you are an employee at a retail store, a famous actor, a doctor, a psychiatrist, a McDonald’s employee, and yes… even a stay at home father. So the days we are on top of our game we need to ask ourselves if it is all worth it and I would have to say staying home with my children was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I invest daily into my family what some dads will never be able to do. And sometimes I want to ask the question to working dads who had the opportunity to stay home but chose not to if they regret their decision to pound nails instead of watch their children grow up.

-sillydad

Just recently over at the Dad Stays Home discussion board a female guest swung by and asked a few questions. Apparently she is doing a paper on Stay at Home Dads and their reasoning as to why they decided to stay home. I like how us Stay at Home Dads are so unique that people are still mystified at the concept. And to think someone can actually do an entire study on us… I haven’t felt this important since I turned 13 and became a teenager.

Anyway, back to topic. If you follow the link you will see a ton of replies inluding mine to several of her questions. What I have decided to do is cover one question from that questionaire each day or so. I think some of the questions are quite shallow but it does bring up the point that the world is still at awe that men would actually give up their pride to do what is best for their family. So here we go. Let’s cover the first question today.

Question #1:
What prompted you to decide to become a stay-at-home father?

This question is relatively easy and unbiased. What prompted me to become a stay at home father was not necessarily one thing in particular. I would say there are 2 huge factors that did influence me and my wife to come to a mutual decision on this. The first influential factor is my wife makes a lot more money than I do. Her career was set up at an early age and she took the proper steps to get there. She was well on her way before I even met my wife. The second influential factor involves sending my children to daycare. Though I am not opposed to certain daycare facilities, I prefer to raise my own kids. Why?

There are several reasons why a person would want to raise their own kids. Discipline. Children need discipline and most daycare facilities do not have the legal abilitiy to provide proper discipline. Secondly, I don’t want other adults telling my children what is right and wrong when I don’t carry the same values as them.

Another reason would be simply I just love my own children and I want to see them speak their first word and take that first step.

When it comes down to financial security, most of the money I would have earned at work would have been dumped into childcare, especially now that we have four children. So to go to work so all of your money is sunk into daycare defeats the purpose of what you originally wanted to do. Invest into your family and not into some business you don’t even own. In the end the perks are much better.

-sillydad

My 2 1/2 year old daughter is still in diapers. It depends on the day whether or not the potty is included in her life. Some days she does real well and other times she is just not interested. I remind her quite often and ask her if she needs to go potty, but still it really depends on how she feels.

So, I thought I would give her some incentive. On April 3rd there is a free family fish day I am taking my 2 oldest kids to and grampa is coming along. The drive to get there would be about 3 hours over where grampa’s camp is. The incentive is if she can potty train and be out of diapers by then I would bring her fishing with us.

From that point on she has been making a little more of an effort to potty train. The thing now is when she fails and lets it go in her diaper she becomes upset and sad because she can’t go fishing. It is always on her mind. Maybe the pressure is too much for her even when she decides to go on the potty?

This is where you guys come in. Any ideas or thoughts on this? Should I not have given her this incentive? I think encouraging her and letting her be in control of whether or not she wants to potty train is good and healthy but my only concern is has it hindered her performance through discouragement as it is always on her mind? If I look back at before she was told about the fishing trip and compare it to where she is now, there is a lot of improvement so maybe it has helped.

Whatcha all think??

-sillydad