Just in case you are just tuning in I have been answering a 13 question questionaire over at dadstayshome.com… Here is number 10.
Question #10
Did your background as a child influence your decision to become a stay-at-home dad?
According to psychologists every decision you make in life is influenced by how you were raised. So, I would have to say “yes” to this question. Do I think it has had the most influence on my decision? Maybe not. This is a difficult question to answer. It’s difficult to really pinpoint any specific childhood incidences or memories that may have directly impacted me to make the decision to become a Stay at Home Dad. But if we want to generalize this a bit I would have to say that no matter who we are today, whether it be a doctor, professional baseball player, lawyer, Walmart employee, or a stay at home dad, our childhood has had somewhat of an influential factor in our decision to become who we are.
Here are some things that I think would influence our decisions:
Religious Background
I think this could be a biggy here. How we were raised and taught religiously will impact every decision we make. There are many different religions out there and you could have been raised in any number of those. In fact, you could agree with your relgious background or you could have even rebelled against it. But either way your religious beliefs, no matter what they are, will impact every decision you make. There are some people who believe their religion teaches them that the man has to be the primary breadwinner and the wife must be in complete submission to the husband. Others don’t. Whether you were brought up in a household who preached on this could very well make a huge impact on your decision.
Political Background
Are you a democrat or a republican? Are you somewhere in between or out in left field? If you are way into politics you may find one situation over the other is best according to your political agenda.
Family Dynamics
Were you brought up with a mother who stayed home, a father who worked long hours, and 5 other siblings? Or maybe you never knew your dad and you were the only child? You and your mom make up your family? Or maybe even something more untraditional like lesbian or gay parents. Or you could even be brought up in a family with several step parents and siblings. Maybe your grandmother raised you. Or were you adopted? Whatever your family dynamics were growing up will have a huge impact on your decisions in life.
Family Heritage
Here is another big one. Are your grandparents Italian, Mexican, English, Spanish, German, or Indian?? Maybe your great grandparents came to America on a big boat one day and brought with them family tradition and heritage from their country. What was passed down to you from your family’s upbringing will affect your own upbringing.
Demographics
Where do you live? Do you live in the mountains and ski 6 out of 7 days a week or do you live in the desert? If you grew up in the Northern states where there is a lot of snow your hobbies would be a lot different than if you grew up in the sunny south. Where you live impacts your decisions and your behaviour and, in turn, influences our decisions down the road.
Education
This speaks for itself. People who are well educated make different decisions than those who are not. The way you think is shaped by the things you have read, studied, written, and even how well you scored on tests. You might be a business student, a law student, a physcial education student, and so on. No matter what you decide to do in school will impact your decisions later. Professors can really shape how you think by their style of teaching as well.
Personality
Personality is a strong trait in each of us that plays a big part in our behaviour and decision making process. Though we are tossed into certain influential backgrounds our personaility tells us what to do with those influences. For instance, did you go to that church with your parents or did you rebel? Or maybe you went to church with them but were never really into it. Your personality juggles these influences and tells you how to behave.
Friends
And of course most of us all have had friends growing up. Your personality and all the other influential factors may determine who your friends are but your friends can really impact you. There is nothing like peer pressure. Were you pressured into doing drugs? Or maybe they helped you stay away from them. It is amazing how our behaviour can be shaped by the strong influence of our friends.
So let’s sum it up for me. All of these things in my life have played a huge role in my decision to stay home. The end!
-sillydad
Yesterday it was my wife’s birthday. I had a dozen roses shipped off to where she works. And yes it went over quite well, especially where she works with all women. So the oohhing and aahhing was at its maximum.
Now this is a fair question and I can say right now “yes I have”. But I have been discriminated against in both directions. In other words some guys think I am not forceful enough or something because I stay home, like maybe my wife forced me into the situation. On the other end, I have had guys actually wish they had my job. But let’s take a look at some things that have happened to me where male friends have discriminated against me in one way or another. Here are a few:
How many ways can you skin a cat? Yes, primary childcare has been known to be the woman’s job since the beginning of mankind. How do I feel about it taking over those roles as a man? hmm… Well, I believe over time man can hopefully overcome slavery, oppression, racism, and descrimination, and eventually evolve into a better way of life. That may seem a bit harsh, but overcoming gender stereotypes is on the rise. I do believe men should act like men and women like women no matter what they choose to do. I think the problem is how people can be misled by switching spousal roles such as the man staying home and the woman working. Some think the woman is not womanly enough and the man is not being a man.
Round and round we go. How many ways can we answer the same question? Yes, society generally views the man of the house to be the one bringing home the bacon while mommy stays home and takes care of the little ones. Society actually is falling more and more into the “both parents are raking in the dough as they ship their child off to daycare” syndrome. I call it a syndrome but it works for some people. Again, I am not against certain daycare facilities as much as I am against simply having somebody else raise your child so you can go to work. Maybe that sounds shallow but having children is a responsibility and not a luxury.