Archive for the ‘In Depth’ Category

Older Siblings Are Smarter?

Wednesday, June 27th, 2007

Modern Day Dad finds an article about a recent study which determines the first borns get all the brains. I have heard this before and never thought it held too much weight even though it did seem that way. My older sister was a whiz kid and graduated 2nd in her high school class, then off to Stanford University. Me, well I didn’t get much for brains but I like to say I got all the looks, or the athletic ability. My sister now is an Attorney at a law firm in Florida.

I scan all the people I know, and it’s funny how the older children always seemed to do better academically.

Well besides just plain observation the study also found:

First-born children possess IQs that are 2.3 points higher, on average, than their younger siblings, a new study contends.

This finding held true even when first-born children didn’t survive and a younger child was reared as the eldest, scuttling the idea that genetics determines the difference in IQ among siblings, according to the Norwegian researchers who authored the report, published in the June 22 issue of the journal Science.

“This study really puts to an end a debate that’s been going on for more than 70 years,” said Frank J. Sulloway, a visiting scholar at the University of California, Berkeley, Institute of Personality and Social Research, and the author of an accompanying commentary in the journal. “The theory of biological differences is pretty much dead as a doornail.”

So whether you think it has to do with genetics think again. There is something that is learned by the first born that pushes them to excel. Could it be they are more independent as they don’t have an older sibling to look after them? Could it be they are the first child to discover things on their own, rather than being shown by an older sibling?

One theory:

“Indirectly, it supports the theory that social support and attention within the family explain the difference. First children will not have to share this attention at first. The more children, the less attention will be provided to each child if parental resources are limited,” he added.

Another:

Sulloway noted that there are several theories that might explain the difference in IQ between first-born and younger siblings. Among these is one that says that more money is spent on the oldest child, and, as family size increases, less money is available for other children, leaving them with less opportunity. “But this doesn’t intuitively strike me as the explanation,” he said.

And:

Another theory holds that the first-born child gets more of the parents’ attention, but Sulloway also discounts this theory.

Another theory shotdown:

Still another explanation is that older children teach younger children, and the act of teaching raises the IQ. “The problem with this theory is that teaching has to raise the IQ of the first-born more than it does the IQ of younger siblings, in order to produce a birth order difference,” he said.

How about niche partitioning? Sulloway seems to like this theory:

A theory that Sulloway likes is called “niche partitioning.” This theory suggests that once a role in the family is filled, others have to find roles that help them compete for attention in the family.

Sulloway noted that first-borns are judged to be more disciplined and more hard-working and more intelligent than their younger siblings. “The explanation for this is that first-borns occupy the role of a surrogate parent in the family,” he said. “It is a great way to get brownie points from parents.”

Because older children already occupy that niche in the family, younger children have to find other roles to play, Sulloway said. “So, younger siblings look for other things to be good at,” he said. “It may be that that extra 2.3 points in IQ reflects an investment of time to get that, and the later-born is investing that time in something else and is getting 2.3 extra points in something else,” he added.

Given that each child is finding his or her own niche, the difference in IQ is nothing for parents to worry about, Sulloway said.

No matter what theory we go with, I wouldn’t necessarily put all of our eggs in one basket. Maybe the combination of all of these factors intertwined into which ones seem to weigh more heavily depending on situational factors will probably determine the overall outcome of a child. But either way, it doesn’t tell us the future of the child, just the predetermined capabilities of them.

sillydad

Do As I Say, Not As I Do, As I Am a Hypocrite

Wednesday, June 13th, 2007

After reading Aaron’s post at Dadvisor it occurred to me how hypocritical the statement, “Do as I say and not as I do” is. I have heard that a million times but never thought much of it. I even joked around on that phrase for most of my life. But when you become a parent you look at the world in a whole new light.

Most people will read this and wonder what the big deal is but I find that the best parents are ones who lead by example. Also see my article: Actions Speak Louder Than Words. If you want your kids to not drink alcohol then you, yourself, must not drink alcohol. If you want your kids to grow up not using drugs, then you need to not do them yourself. If you want your child to respect their mother then you need to respect your wife. If you want your kids to grow up without swearing then you, as a parent, seriously need to not swear.

You can’t tell your kids to do something, or to NOT do something if you can’t even live up to those standards. And why is it fine for adults to do bad things and make bad decisions and not kids? My point is this… kids need to learn from us by example, and we, as parents, need to start learning from our kids. One way to start is to look at hypocritical statements that were once fun sayings and take them a little more seriously. The future is at stake here.

-sillydad

Kids and Clothes

Tuesday, June 5th, 2007

As much as I hate the word “skank” and the way it simple rolls off your tongue, I have to say the way some of our parents allow our children to dress is absolutely unacceptable. Stop dressing your daughters like SKANKS. And your sons… give the poor kid a belt whether they want the pants worn around the crack of their ass or not.

Most parents don’t seem to give two rats asses about the way their kids are dressing. It is blatantly obvious just standing at the bus stop. I also live right next to a school where 4th and 5th graders come and go. So from my window I see kids go to school and come home from school. They trample over the neighbors lawn and head to their destinations wearing nothing but skank clothes. Sometimes I wonder if this part of the town is called Skankville to be honest.

It isn’t just the clothes these people wear. Look how the boys present themselves these days. They slouch over, wear pants around their butt crack (if it makes it that high), and can’t fully pronounce their words. And this rant is coming from a 31 year old who just not too long ago was in college. I mean we don’t need to toss ties around our necks and wear polished up shoes, but sheesh… let’s show a little dignity and respect towards not just others who have to look at the crack of your ass but to yourself.

Kids used to want to be perceived as a real man. Look at the older pictures of the kids 100 years ago who were not only 8 years old and how they puffed their chest out, stood tall, and had a belt on. They were proud of who they were, walked nobly, and dressed nice.

Now I can’t stand to see the skanky skirts on 8 year olds, the make-up that makes their eyes look all dark like they just climbed out of the great depths of hell, and the boys… well.. have some self respect and dignity and get pants that fit. Turn your ball caps either forward or backwards and stop this sideways crap. After you buy the hats take the stupid tags off them. And please… please… stop walking like you got a limp. Seems as though all the boys have a limp leg. Not sure what they are doing that’s causing it. They probably tripped over their ipods getting to their Xbox.

Here is a picture of Jesse James and Gang Member back about 100 years ago. This is how gangsters used to dress:

Today, 100 years later we have this:

I rest my case!

-sillydad

Inside Parenting 101

Wednesday, May 30th, 2007

The Law of the Kitchen.

L.A. Daddy with things he has learned from being a father.

Clare’s Dad asks Clare what she thought of the Shrek the Third movie.

What are your thoughts? Should kids be allowed to have TV’s in their rooms?

Are you a leash parent?

And lastly, alway… ALWAYS wear those bicycle helmets before you crack your noggin’.

Overall… Has it Been Rewarding?

Monday, May 8th, 2006

Ok here is the last question of our questionaire.

Question #13
Overall, has your job as a stay-at-home father been personally fulfilling?

This would have to be a strong yes. Staying home with your children is absolutely priceless and extremely rewarding. The rewards obviously don’t come in the style of a paycheck but there are many other ways to be rewarded. Simply being able to stay home and watch your kids take their first step or speak that first word is really rewarding. All that diaper changing and formula feeding actually paid off.

Also, when you teach your children to do something and next thing you know they are doing it on their own is one of the most rewarding parts of staying home.

Though there are moments when you feel tired, worn out, and nothing seems that fulfilling. But overall, it is very rewarding and personally I wouldn’t switch it out with another job. I have worked at over 12 other businesses prior to becoming a Stay at Home Father and not one of those jobs was as rewarding as what I do now.

sillydad