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Modern Day Dad finds an article about a recent study which determines the first borns get all the brains. I have heard this before and never thought it held too much weight even though it did seem that way. My older sister was a whiz kid and graduated 2nd in her high school class, then off to Stanford University. Me, well I didn’t get much for brains but I like to say I got all the looks, or the athletic ability. My sister now is an Attorney at a law firm in Florida.

I scan all the people I know, and it’s funny how the older children always seemed to do better academically.

Well besides just plain observation the study also found:

First-born children possess IQs that are 2.3 points higher, on average, than their younger siblings, a new study contends.

This finding held true even when first-born children didn’t survive and a younger child was reared as the eldest, scuttling the idea that genetics determines the difference in IQ among siblings, according to the Norwegian researchers who authored the report, published in the June 22 issue of the journal Science.

“This study really puts to an end a debate that’s been going on for more than 70 years,” said Frank J. Sulloway, a visiting scholar at the University of California, Berkeley, Institute of Personality and Social Research, and the author of an accompanying commentary in the journal. “The theory of biological differences is pretty much dead as a doornail.”

So whether you think it has to do with genetics think again. There is something that is learned by the first born that pushes them to excel. Could it be they are more independent as they don’t have an older sibling to look after them? Could it be they are the first child to discover things on their own, rather than being shown by an older sibling?

One theory:

“Indirectly, it supports the theory that social support and attention within the family explain the difference. First children will not have to share this attention at first. The more children, the less attention will be provided to each child if parental resources are limited,” he added.

Another:

Sulloway noted that there are several theories that might explain the difference in IQ between first-born and younger siblings. Among these is one that says that more money is spent on the oldest child, and, as family size increases, less money is available for other children, leaving them with less opportunity. “But this doesn’t intuitively strike me as the explanation,” he said.

And:

Another theory holds that the first-born child gets more of the parents’ attention, but Sulloway also discounts this theory.

Another theory shotdown:

Still another explanation is that older children teach younger children, and the act of teaching raises the IQ. “The problem with this theory is that teaching has to raise the IQ of the first-born more than it does the IQ of younger siblings, in order to produce a birth order difference,” he said.

How about niche partitioning? Sulloway seems to like this theory:

A theory that Sulloway likes is called “niche partitioning.” This theory suggests that once a role in the family is filled, others have to find roles that help them compete for attention in the family.

Sulloway noted that first-borns are judged to be more disciplined and more hard-working and more intelligent than their younger siblings. “The explanation for this is that first-borns occupy the role of a surrogate parent in the family,” he said. “It is a great way to get brownie points from parents.”

Because older children already occupy that niche in the family, younger children have to find other roles to play, Sulloway said. “So, younger siblings look for other things to be good at,” he said. “It may be that that extra 2.3 points in IQ reflects an investment of time to get that, and the later-born is investing that time in something else and is getting 2.3 extra points in something else,” he added.

Given that each child is finding his or her own niche, the difference in IQ is nothing for parents to worry about, Sulloway said.

No matter what theory we go with, I wouldn’t necessarily put all of our eggs in one basket. Maybe the combination of all of these factors intertwined into which ones seem to weigh more heavily depending on situational factors will probably determine the overall outcome of a child. But either way, it doesn’t tell us the future of the child, just the predetermined capabilities of them.

sillydad

After reading Aaron’s post at Dadvisor it occurred to me how hypocritical the statement, “Do as I say and not as I do” is. I have heard that a million times but never thought much of it. I even joked around on that phrase for most of my life. But when you become a parent you look at the world in a whole new light.

Most people will read this and wonder what the big deal is but I find that the best parents are ones who lead by example. Also see my article: Actions Speak Louder Than Words. If you want your kids to not drink alcohol then you, yourself, must not drink alcohol. If you want your kids to grow up not using drugs, then you need to not do them yourself. If you want your child to respect their mother then you need to respect your wife. If you want your kids to grow up without swearing then you, as a parent, seriously need to not swear.

You can’t tell your kids to do something, or to NOT do something if you can’t even live up to those standards. And why is it fine for adults to do bad things and make bad decisions and not kids? My point is this… kids need to learn from us by example, and we, as parents, need to start learning from our kids. One way to start is to look at hypocritical statements that were once fun sayings and take them a little more seriously. The future is at stake here.

-sillydad

As much as I hate the word “skank” and the way it simple rolls off your tongue, I have to say the way some of our parents allow our children to dress is absolutely unacceptable. Stop dressing your daughters like SKANKS. And your sons… give the poor kid a belt whether they want the pants worn around the crack of their ass or not.

Most parents don’t seem to give two rats asses about the way their kids are dressing. It is blatantly obvious just standing at the bus stop. I also live right next to a school where 4th and 5th graders come and go. So from my window I see kids go to school and come home from school. They trample over the neighbors lawn and head to their destinations wearing nothing but skank clothes. Sometimes I wonder if this part of the town is called Skankville to be honest.

It isn’t just the clothes these people wear. Look how the boys present themselves these days. They slouch over, wear pants around their butt crack (if it makes it that high), and can’t fully pronounce their words. And this rant is coming from a 31 year old who just not too long ago was in college. I mean we don’t need to toss ties around our necks and wear polished up shoes, but sheesh… let’s show a little dignity and respect towards not just others who have to look at the crack of your ass but to yourself.

Kids used to want to be perceived as a real man. Look at the older pictures of the kids 100 years ago who were not only 8 years old and how they puffed their chest out, stood tall, and had a belt on. They were proud of who they were, walked nobly, and dressed nice.

Now I can’t stand to see the skanky skirts on 8 year olds, the make-up that makes their eyes look all dark like they just climbed out of the great depths of hell, and the boys… well.. have some self respect and dignity and get pants that fit. Turn your ball caps either forward or backwards and stop this sideways crap. After you buy the hats take the stupid tags off them. And please… please… stop walking like you got a limp. Seems as though all the boys have a limp leg. Not sure what they are doing that’s causing it. They probably tripped over their ipods getting to their Xbox.

Here is a picture of Jesse James and Gang Member back about 100 years ago. This is how gangsters used to dress:

Today, 100 years later we have this:

I rest my case!

-sillydad

The Law of the Kitchen.

L.A. Daddy with things he has learned from being a father.

Clare’s Dad asks Clare what she thought of the Shrek the Third movie.

What are your thoughts? Should kids be allowed to have TV’s in their rooms?

Are you a leash parent?

And lastly, alway… ALWAYS wear those bicycle helmets before you crack your noggin’.

Ok here is the last question of our questionaire.

Question #13
Overall, has your job as a stay-at-home father been personally fulfilling?

This would have to be a strong yes. Staying home with your children is absolutely priceless and extremely rewarding. The rewards obviously don’t come in the style of a paycheck but there are many other ways to be rewarded. Simply being able to stay home and watch your kids take their first step or speak that first word is really rewarding. All that diaper changing and formula feeding actually paid off.

Also, when you teach your children to do something and next thing you know they are doing it on their own is one of the most rewarding parts of staying home.

Though there are moments when you feel tired, worn out, and nothing seems that fulfilling. But overall, it is very rewarding and personally I wouldn’t switch it out with another job. I have worked at over 12 other businesses prior to becoming a Stay at Home Father and not one of those jobs was as rewarding as what I do now.

sillydad

So how are you guys liking the idea of me answering this questionaire? I haven’t had too many comments since I started doing this. This is the second to last one and I will finish it up but thought I could get some feedback from you guys. I have no idea if you are completely bored with it or really like it. So please drop me a comment and let me know if you like what I am doing here. If so, maybe we can do more questionaires in the future. Anyway here is number 12…

Question #12
How has becoming a stay-at-home parent changed your relationship with members of your family and your outlook on family life?

Out of all of the questions this has to be the best one, and most sincere. All the other questions are already set up to answer almost defensively. On the other hand, confrontational questions make good questionaires. But, let’s break this down into two parts as there are really two questions here.

How has being a stay at home dad changed my relationship with family members?
With extended family, once they got over the intitial shock it has actually been more of a pleasant change than a bad one. Unfortunately there are probably people reading this right now who are not so lucky to have family support. Most of family is supportive of what I do, though I am sure there is quite a bit of talk behind my back on how crazy I am, but when it is all said and done… my family is quite supportive.

But how has that changed? Conversations tend to coincide with family projects or discussion about my kids. I am not sure if that is simply because I am a parent or a stay at home father or both. I would assume if I were working outside of my home I would talk more about my job as I used to do. That would have to be the number one difference. I remember talking about how work was going. I still do the same but my work is with my children.

Within my immediate family I would say it hasn’t changed much at all as we were preparing for this day from the “get go”. We knew my wife would soon be off working for a nice business and at the same time we wanted children. We knew it was coming but we weren’t sure exactly when.

How has being a stay at home dad changed my outlook on family life?
This is a great question. Being a stay at home dad has really impacted me and how I view not only family life but the world. Little things like walking your kids to the bus stop and a speedy car drives by. You get an unsettling feeling that you never would have gotten before just knowing your kids are near by and are vulnerable. I know that I become more protective around my children. Before having children of my own I heard parents who said they would take a bullet for their own kids, or jump out in front of a moving vehicle to save their own children. I sort of understood and I was probably sure I would do the same. But now having children of my own there is no “probably”. There is no doubt I would do anything to protect them.

But that is parenting. How about now that I am actually a full time stay at home dad? I know when my kids have eaten last. I know what they are up to 24/7. Since I have stayed at home I have been more in tune with their needs and wants. I understand children more now than I ever did and can almost see what is going on in their little minds. Prior to having a family of my own I just didn’t understand kids. Now I do, and staying home as helped me really know my own children.

I also get to see my kids take their first step, say their first word, and discover the world right in front of you and it is amazing. It is something you would never understand until you have children of your own some day. So being a stay at home dad has really impacted me even more than just being a working parent.

I am more in tune with local and state government “going-ons” than just federal. I listen more on educational issues as my children will be greatly affected my them. I actually know when the library is open and when it closes at night and on the weekends. Being more in tune to what could possibly affect your kids is something that being at home has forced me to do.

And I am sure there are a ton more things I am not even aware of that has changed me and influenced my outlook on family life and the world.

sillydad

Today we will move on to number 11 of our questionaire.

Question #11
Has becoming a stay-at-home dad made you feel as though you were less of a man? Why or why not?

As I mentioned before, most of this is just overcoming what others think about you. A long while back I wrote an article called overcoming stereotypes you may be interested in reading through. When it comes to dealing with myself I am very comfortable when it comes to staying home. The problem is how others perceive you and how to overcome those stereotypical feelings you know others are pinpointing you with.

But have I really felt like less of a man? I would have to admit there are days I wish I could be out fishing, or even working at a different job. But, having worked before at more than a dozen different types of jobs, I soon realized those feelings are normal no matter what I did, even including being a Stay at Home Father. There are always other things I want to do besides what I am doing currently. I think this is quite normal.

The biggest rut for a Stay at Home Father is the stereotype rut. Once you can overcome this then you can move on and soon realize what you are doing is not making you less of a man but more of one.

I would have to agree, though, if I were living in a different era staying home while my wife worked may not be a “manly” thing to do. But today anybody can hold a job and it is not unheard of for both parents to be out working. So in the same regards it is not that bad in today’s day and age for a man to change a few diapers and clean up around the house.

-sillydad

Just in case you are just tuning in I have been answering a 13 question questionaire over at dadstayshome.com… Here is number 10.

Question #10
Did your background as a child influence your decision to become a stay-at-home dad?

According to psychologists every decision you make in life is influenced by how you were raised. So, I would have to say “yes” to this question. Do I think it has had the most influence on my decision? Maybe not. This is a difficult question to answer. It’s difficult to really pinpoint any specific childhood incidences or memories that may have directly impacted me to make the decision to become a Stay at Home Dad. But if we want to generalize this a bit I would have to say that no matter who we are today, whether it be a doctor, professional baseball player, lawyer, Walmart employee, or a stay at home dad, our childhood has had somewhat of an influential factor in our decision to become who we are.

Here are some things that I think would influence our decisions:

Religious Background
I think this could be a biggy here. How we were raised and taught religiously will impact every decision we make. There are many different religions out there and you could have been raised in any number of those. In fact, you could agree with your relgious background or you could have even rebelled against it. But either way your religious beliefs, no matter what they are, will impact every decision you make. There are some people who believe their religion teaches them that the man has to be the primary breadwinner and the wife must be in complete submission to the husband. Others don’t. Whether you were brought up in a household who preached on this could very well make a huge impact on your decision.

Political Background
Are you a democrat or a republican? Are you somewhere in between or out in left field? If you are way into politics you may find one situation over the other is best according to your political agenda.

Family Dynamics
Were you brought up with a mother who stayed home, a father who worked long hours, and 5 other siblings? Or maybe you never knew your dad and you were the only child? You and your mom make up your family? Or maybe even something more untraditional like lesbian or gay parents. Or you could even be brought up in a family with several step parents and siblings. Maybe your grandmother raised you. Or were you adopted? Whatever your family dynamics were growing up will have a huge impact on your decisions in life.

Family Heritage
Here is another big one. Are your grandparents Italian, Mexican, English, Spanish, German, or Indian?? Maybe your great grandparents came to America on a big boat one day and brought with them family tradition and heritage from their country. What was passed down to you from your family’s upbringing will affect your own upbringing.

Demographics
Where do you live? Do you live in the mountains and ski 6 out of 7 days a week or do you live in the desert? If you grew up in the Northern states where there is a lot of snow your hobbies would be a lot different than if you grew up in the sunny south. Where you live impacts your decisions and your behaviour and, in turn, influences our decisions down the road.

Education
This speaks for itself. People who are well educated make different decisions than those who are not. The way you think is shaped by the things you have read, studied, written, and even how well you scored on tests. You might be a business student, a law student, a physcial education student, and so on. No matter what you decide to do in school will impact your decisions later. Professors can really shape how you think by their style of teaching as well.

Personality
Personality is a strong trait in each of us that plays a big part in our behaviour and decision making process. Though we are tossed into certain influential backgrounds our personaility tells us what to do with those influences. For instance, did you go to that church with your parents or did you rebel? Or maybe you went to church with them but were never really into it. Your personality juggles these influences and tells you how to behave.

Friends
And of course most of us all have had friends growing up. Your personality and all the other influential factors may determine who your friends are but your friends can really impact you. There is nothing like peer pressure. Were you pressured into doing drugs? Or maybe they helped you stay away from them. It is amazing how our behaviour can be shaped by the strong influence of our friends.

So let’s sum it up for me. All of these things in my life have played a huge role in my decision to stay home. The end!

-sillydad

Getting closer to the end of the questionaire. Take a look at #9

Question #9
Have you ever felt discriminated against by male friends who aren’t stay-at-home dads?

Now this is a fair question and I can say right now “yes I have”. But I have been discriminated against in both directions. In other words some guys think I am not forceful enough or something because I stay home, like maybe my wife forced me into the situation. On the other end, I have had guys actually wish they had my job. But let’s take a look at some things that have happened to me where male friends have discriminated against me in one way or another. Here are a few:

We know who wears the paints in the relationship… (followed by a nice grin)
Oh yea, I have heard this on more than one occasion, and in fact, I have heard this about 4 times from the same person. They must not have thought they got their point across the first time. So, because I stay home I no longer wear pants. I must not have a backbone either.

What man would stay home and change diapers?
Yes, I have heard this believe it or not, but at least it was only once. I am sure people think it more often or say it behind my back but I cannot prove any of it except for that one time. Was I offended? Yea, I was a tad bit but I got over it….

Are you crazy?
Yes.

Why?
This one is almost as bad as “Are you crazy?” Just coming out and asking why? That sometimes seems more powerful than being specific. Why? Ummm… well maybe because it is the best thing for my family right now, or should I try to smooth things over with a friend and say, “Well, I want to make sure I catch all the games on TV.” In all honesty I have only had one male friend ask me why.

Oh really? (long pause) hmmm
This happened to me on a phone conversation about a year ago. “Oh really” was mostly to absorb the shock and the long pause was to think about what to say next. Eventually hmmmm came out of him and that summed it all up for me.

Those are things I have heard from male friends the minute they found out I was now a full time stay at home dad. But what do they say now? How about this one: “Hey Steve, Go ask your wife if you guys can __________” fill in the blank… A lot of the discrimination stems not from me just staying home with the kids but the fact that my wife makes most of the money and supports us. That immediately draws out stereotypes and people automatically assume I have to ask my wife for permission like I am some little school boy or something.

But there are other forms of discrimination other than making certain remarks. How do they act around me? Right now most of my friends don’t live in the same town as I do so I don’t get to witness much. But that just means I spend more time talking on the phone with them so it is easier for me to relate conversations to discrimination in this instance than it is to witness actions.

Maybe I don’t get asked to go places or do things with them as much but I would associate that with just NOT being single any more. It is more of the fact that I am married and have 4 children than it is because I stay home with the little ones.

On a good note, I actually get more positive responses than disapproving ones. Maybe I am lucky or maybe there is something about me. Who really knows. But until more and more dads become Stay at Home Fathers we will continue to see discrimination.

-sillydad

Well we are more than half-way through our questionaire. Let’s move on to number eight.

Question #8
Primary childcare has been known to be the “woman’s job,” how do you feel about taking on the responsibilities as a man?

How many ways can you skin a cat? Yes, primary childcare has been known to be the woman’s job since the beginning of mankind. How do I feel about it taking over those roles as a man? hmm… Well, I believe over time man can hopefully overcome slavery, oppression, racism, and descrimination, and eventually evolve into a better way of life. That may seem a bit harsh, but overcoming gender stereotypes is on the rise. I do believe men should act like men and women like women no matter what they choose to do. I think the problem is how people can be misled by switching spousal roles such as the man staying home and the woman working. Some think the woman is not womanly enough and the man is not being a man.

I think whatever roles we choose to do for the best interest of the family unit, the man can still be a man. It isn’t what he chooses to do but how he goes about it. Right? In other words, the man has his own parenting techniques and styles. I notice in myself those differences and it makes a huge impact on my children’s upbringing. It is an important role and I think the man as head of the household should be able to decide what is best for his family.

I think both men and women should have equal opportunity in life. Women are now out in the workplace and I think that is great. On the other side of the spectrum, I also think men should be able to stay home with their children. What’s the difference? Is it women can take on the roles of men but not vice versa?

So how do I feel about taking on a woman’s job? I don’t think it is solely a woman’s job anymore. Imagine me going up to a women who is in the middle of her day job and asking her how she felt about taking on the responsibilities of a man. After I got smacked across the face I would soon realize it is simply no longer just a man’s job. Both men and women are in the workplace even though since the beginning of time until a few decades ago it was unheard of for women to be the primary breadwinner.

For a man to stay home is not that unique anymore, but the stereotypes are still quite old. We need to break the mold and show others the realities of it. But, I think it goes deeper than just gender roles. What do I mean? I think that certain families want the best for their children and will do anything to make them happy and keep them thriving. A man who is passionate and cares for his family will not hesitate to do what is best. And if staying home while the wife rakes in the dough is what is best for the family then why should I lose out on that opportunity…. and for what? So I can feel like a man from the stone ages??

sillydad

Moving right along with our questionaire. This one is a good question because it involves society and their outlook on men who decide to stay home. Take a look…

Question #7
Society generally views the male of the household being the primary “breadwinner,” do you feel that you should obtain some sort of income for the household? Why or why not?

Round and round we go. How many ways can we answer the same question? Yes, society generally views the man of the house to be the one bringing home the bacon while mommy stays home and takes care of the little ones. Society actually is falling more and more into the “both parents are raking in the dough as they ship their child off to daycare” syndrome. I call it a syndrome but it works for some people. Again, I am not against certain daycare facilities as much as I am against simply having somebody else raise your child so you can go to work. Maybe that sounds shallow but having children is a responsibility and not a luxury.

I feel that one person in the marriage needs to stay home with the children while the other one works. Traditionally it is the man who works. But why does it have to be the man all the time? Wouldn’t it be situational? Here are some factors that I think should determine which person should stay home and which person should go out into the workplace.

1) Income: Well here is the biggy. Who makes more money? If one is making $50,000 per year and the other is making $25,000 per year wouldn’t it be wise in most cases to leave the person making more out in the workplace? I would think so, but sometimes it isn’t that easy. There are other factors that can play in to your decision. In most families it could be that simple. But, what if one is making $30,000 and the other is making $30,000 as well? Now there are other factors that need to be looked at.

2) Employment Benefits: When you have a family employment benefits are important. Children need shots, they need regular check-ups at the doctors, they need routine dentist visits, and don’t forget emergencies that may pop-up at any time. You need to look into the companies that each of the parents are working for and see what benefits they offer. If the man shingles rooftops and makes $35,000 for the year but his boss doesn’t provide family benefits, and the woman makes $27,500 per year but her company has a great family benefits package you need to sit down and weigh out the options. The man after finding an outside source for insurance may actually find he isn’t making that much more than his wife did. So make sure your kids are set-up with insurance. Insurance is not just important for the kids but for the parents as well. Make sure you have that security.

3) Company Security: Insurance and benefits are one part of company security. But there are other factors you need to look into. Is the company you are working for about ready to file chapter 11 or are they booming and growing. If you are making $10,000 more a year than your spouse but your company may be downsizing in the next 2 to 5 years then you need to weigh in the consequences if you were laid off or demoted. But let’s look at the opposite side. Maybe the company is booming and more employment is needed. You know the company will be a great place to stay in and possibly retire. Some companies are great for careers, others are good for short-term work. So do some digging and find out about the company you and your spouse work for. In some situations you may want to choose the job with less income but the security and benefits packages are superb.

4) Promotion: This is also something to look into regarding a company. Is there room for promotion? Is there supervisory and managerial positions available? Could you be in a better position if you stayed with the company for a few more years. If both spouses are making the same amount of income per year and the benefits are roughly the same but one has the ability to make more money in a year or more and the other is sort of stuck at that one position, then that is another determining factor. But also look at your own credentials. Are you a good candidate for moving up the corporate ladder? Do you have education under your belt? Experience? Do you have competition where other employees hold the same credentials as you? So how realistic are your chances of moving up? Be honest with yourself because this isn’t about you any more, it is about your family.

5) Random: There are also random elements you need to look into. Some are quantifiable and others will be things you need to use your judgment. Quantifiable elements would be cost of gas. Does your spouse have a job down the street and you have a job that is 45 miles down the road? With rising gas prices this is definitely a factor. Is it costing you $25 in gas for the day to drive to and from work? Multiply that by 5 days for the week and you are paying $125 for the week. How much is that for the year? You will be paying $6,500 for just gas alone.

There are some judgment calls that you can’t figure out on a calculator. Maybe you can’t decide when it comes to calculations. Both jobs seem secure, both pay roughly the same, both jobs are located nearby, both parents have education and experience under their belt, and there is hope for promotion in the near future. How do you decide? Some judgment calls would include things like “Who is up for the task?” Is one more willing to give up a career for their family? Will one hold resentments against their spouse 2 years, 5 years, or 10 years down the road? Is one better with the kids? These are all judgment calls that need to be looked at. Maybe there is more of an opportunity to work from home with one spouse than the other and so you plan to help get that one parent going working at home, whatever that may be.

So let’s go back to the original question. Do I feel I need to obtain income as a male in our society? Well, in my situation absolutely not. In fact, I think it would be unwise and completely self-centered to force my wife who is making 4 times the amount of money I would have made to stay home just so I could feel masculine. This isn’t about me. It is about my family and what is best for them. Why should I go to work to save my ego but struggle to pay the bills and not give my children financial security and the insurance they deserve?

I think society can accept this in time.

-sillydad

Ok, so now that we took a quick little break from our questionaire, we can continue on with question six.

Question #6
Why or why not is it important that you obtain some sort of employment either outside or within the home?

Good question. In my current situation I don’t think it is necessarily important for me to obtain employment either in or out of the home. At this point in time we are fine without my financial contributions. Though I do work from my home, I can do so with ease and without the fear of failure. I am working in a risk-free environment. The only thing I am truly giving up is my time and that time could be spent doing other things.

But I look to the future and I also look at security issues. Yes, we are fine now… but… what if something happens in the near or distant future and we need a Plan B? These are some of the things I take into consideration and that is why I have decided to begin working from home.

When my children are in school I plan to go back to work, and if things pan out the way I want them to I will be working for myself, making the same amount, if not more, than if I were working for somebody else. I think when people are in a stay at home situation whether it be the mom or the dad, planning ahead is important. Things may be going smoothly now but what about 2 years… 5 years… or even 15 years down the road?

So I could actually swing either way on this question. Right now, I don’t feel it is important to seek employment as a Stay at Home Dad. But, I do think it is important for a back up plan and also to prepare myself for a financially secure future.

-sillydad

OK this is not part of our questionaire we are currently covering but this is one of the biggest topics that gets kicked around within the Stay at Home Dad circle. I think the reason why this topic is raised to the surface is probably due to 2 things.

1) Guys just talk about cars more than women. It is just a known fact.

2) Stay at Home Dads are probably not driving what they really want to.

So this brings us to what I drive. I remember a discussion I had with a college roommate one time. I told him I would never in my life be caught dead driving a Minivan. This is what I drive now… currently sitting in my driveway:

-sillydad

Moving right along with our questionaire. Are we having fun? Here is number 5.

Question #5
Are you currently contributing financially to the household?

Well I already answered most of this in the previous question but let me expand a little bit on the word “contribution”. Yes, I do contribute to the household financially in more than one way. I earn a smaller income than my wife from my online business but I also contribute by simply staying home. Most Stay at Home Fathers contribute financially and don’t even know it.

What am I getting at? You betcha! Keeping your child out of daycare saves money. Take a look at this situation. Currently I have 4 children. At one point they were all under 5 years old and all were staying home with me. Today most daycare facilities will charge anywhere between $100 and $150 per child for the week. If I decided to work and send all 4 of my children to daycare it would have cost us anywhere between $400 and $600 per week. Let’s meet half-way and just say $500 for 4 kids per week.

So now do the math. That is $2,000 per month. How many months are there in a year?? 12. It would cost me and my wife $24,000 in just childcare costs alone. I wasn’t even making that much in one year. So quitting my job actually saved my wife and I money.

Most Stay at Home Fathers need to sit down and do the math. How many kids do you have? Assume each kid will cost you on average $125 per week. Check your area for exact prices. Some places in the country are even twice that high. But a conservative number would be just over $100. If you have 2 children at home you are saving at least $13,000 for the year. Is it worth it?

Anyway, back to the original question. Do I currently contribute financially to the household? Absolutely, and in more than one way.

-sillydad

Let’s move on to the fourth question of our questionaire.

Question #4
Do you currently work from home or run a business within the home?

Yes, currently I have been running an online business with my father at mainehuntingtoday.com. We run a hunting, fishing and outdoor online magazine and community featuring articles, stories, tips, news, wild game recipes, quizzes to test your knowledge, product reviews, and a ton more. One of the most exciting things that we agreed to recently was to expand into 30 other states including Canada. Maine has been quite successful but we have found a large following for those out of staters, and so in order to keep up with the demands of our hunters and outdoor enthusiasts… and also to make them happy… we have included their state. This is done under one large umbrella found at ushuntingtoday.com.

We run forums for each state, and have several blogs running to keep up to the minute information. Currently those blogs are:

Also, we have recently sponsored a hunting show that broadcasts in all 50 states to 18 million viewers. We will be appearing on all 262 shows that air each year.

Why?
Even though I am running a business from my home I make it clear to spend as much time with my children as I can. It is difficult to maintain both all the time, so if I had to neglect one over the other it would have to be my business. The reason I run a business is for a couple of reasons. First off, I really love what I do. It was a hobby that turned into an enjoyable business. My wife makes more than enough money so the pressure for success is not really there. If for some reason my business fails I have lost nothing.

Another reason why I do it is for my future. There will come a day when my children will be in school all day or have grown up and moved away. When that time comes I want to make sure I am doing something I love. So I am in this for the long haul. I plan to go back to work full time whether we need the financial security or not and so I am always thinking about that time. And wouldn’t it be nice to be working for yourself and not for somebody else? Of course it would. I will be able to work my own hours. I really look forward to it!!

-sillydad