In all families, where there is a father and a mother, there are stereotypical roles each of them play. The father is usually the person that is gone all day, working long hours to support the family. When dad gets home the kids traditionally come running and he bends down and gives them all a kiss and a hug and see what they have been coloring or creating that day. The mother is tired and fed up with the kids by this point from staying home all day. Or, in a lot of cases these days, she left the office herself not too long ago to pick the kids up from day care.
As a father there seems to be one role that fits well. On the other hand, the mother can take on many roles that are acceptable. She can stay home with the kids, she can go shopping all day, she can work just like the dad can, and still be considered a good mommy.
As a stay at home dad, I have run smack dab into a territory unfamiliar by society. Luckily, the world is heading in a specific direction more open to individuality and thinking outside the box, that I can at least create a new stereotype. But let’s not worry about what others think as we stay at home dads are not out there doing what we do for society. We are doing it for our children and for our family.
So first we need to ask ourselves who we need to be in order to be the best dad to our children placed in a non traditional setting. There are certain things you can control more than others. The first part that is the most important duty as a stay at home dad is once you make a decision and give your word, always follow through with it to the best of your ability. In other words, once you have decided to become that stay at home dad, then you need to accept the decision and move forward without looking back… without regrets… without anger. This shows integrity towards your character and towards your family. Too many times I have come across stay at home dads since I have become one myself and I have seen anger, disappointment, and resentment in them.
So pull yourself together and become a dad to your children. Follow through with your decisions and do it to the best of your ability. Who do you want your children to see as their dad? When your children become 30 years old and look back on their childhood, how are they going to remember their dad? Will they remember a mad and resentful dad? Or will they look back and see a loving dad bending over backwards for his own family? Will they see a father sitting on the couch, eating peanuts from a jar, and watching television all day, or will they see a father involved in their own lives?
The only way we can become good father figures is to look at yourself from your children’s eyes. So who are you to them? Is that who you want to be?
Copyright© Steven Remington